Another Ending

April 21st, 2025

Origin Story: 

My internship ended today and left me nowhere to go next because I don’t have a college degree. This was written while I sat in the park beside the building. I’ve been met with a lot of goodbyes in the last six months. What’s another one?

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Unlike the warm breeze that touched my cheek, 

it hit me.

This is another last day of security, 

of routine, 

of having a place to be, 

a place I’m wanted.

I had to leave. 

I’ve been having to do this again and again. 

I walked across the parking garage with a familiar feeling.

My chest feeling empty. 

Lost. 

I am merely a shell wandering without direction, 

swiveling my head for meaning, 

truth, 

identity, 

anything.

It’s hitting me, 

as the wind blows my hair into my face.

My environment stays serene, 

the loveliest weather in weeks, 

as my eyes fight troubled waters.

It’s another end. 

Another goodbye. 

Though this time with a “good luck” to punctuate it.

That’s new.

I dream to grow as much as the trees overhead, 

doing their best to comfort me with their cover.

I dream to be as innocent and free 

as the child skipping around and exploring only a few feet away from me.

Another end.

Another journey that needs to be made.

But I don’t want another journey.

I’ve been told I’m a selfish girl.

I long and crave stability, 

but this inescapable youth pulls me aside.

I stay too unaccomplished to reach such things.

All I hold for certain is love and temporary roof. 

I am filled with sticky, glorious youth, 

that is interlaced with sour dread that silently inhabits me.

What a great host I must be. 

Another journey, another goodbye.

Another fall into the middle of places I’ve never seen. 

Without a mother to guide me.